Me in the World of Mine

oh I still can write...what a surprise

2011-12-13T02:18:00.003+13:00

Oh wow look..last update was September 2010. Today I'm in December 2011. Now where have my 15 months gone to?

I really have to start writing again as my skills have been corroded pretty badly, and my lack of leisure reading lately is not that much of a help either. Sometimes I wonder how do people get to continuously writing, like the feel a purpose in doing so or something. I guess it's really up to your will and interest to sustain your momentum.

A lot of other blogs that I have been following have either ceased from existence or mutated into a better form. Yet I'm still here, not exactly cherishing my blog but just simply get the option ready should I feel the need to write, and ramble, and share with you my simple thoughts, and at the same time brushing up my argumentative skills, which I once acquired from debate.

Ok enough for now, gotta manage the idea reservoir and adhere to the idea bank development plan, keep it flowing, get some enhance recovery intervention when necessary to ensure sustainable production through out it's PSC's life.

ok like seriously, bye.

The night before I go

2010-09-05T21:15:00.004+12:00

Here I am watching tv on the 25th night ramadhan, alone at home because my housemate's gone to terawih and I couldn't.

Here I am sitting in my living room writing my blog after the last post 10 months ago.

Here I am sitting in my couch feeling mixed and uncertain.

I'm very excited for the surprise eid visit, but at the same my whole body screams against it. Here's why:

1. ENGGEN 403 5% worth assignment due on the 20th September.

2. CHEMMAT 424 test on the 17th of September.

3. Off to Adelaide for Chem-E-Car from 25th September to 29th September.

4. Lab works to finish by 30th September.

5. Final year project report due by 8th October.

Wow..so much things yet so little time

Well so much for the last sprint before graduation!

When I grow up...

2009-11-04T10:39:00.002+13:00

I want to be..

a doctor!

an engineer!

a pilot!

a policeman!

That was before...like ages ago. But how come as adulthood dawn upon us, we are no longer excited about the unimaginable possibilities that lay ahead of us? Is it because we no longer posses the eagerness to go out and explore the uncertainties, or is it because we are contented being wrapped in the safe cocoon that promises a linear life, or is it because we are entangled in the stereotype system, of which deviations will cause no success in the predetermined societal hierarchy?

Why oh why, are we not as excited as the preschoolers when asked of what we want to be, what we want to do once we get rid of this educational phase? Do we not have ample choices laid ahead of us? Wait, let me rephrase that, or could it be that we do not have that many interesting yet promising choices that can ensure a 'good' life? But who determines that? Who tells us which path is the easiest yet the happiest? What makes us think that this career path is favorable over the other? What drives us in making the choices in life?

So many questions, yet where are the answers?

I've spent my last 14 years in life trying to improve my education status, but for what? Who determines that in order to be happy and successful in life, a degree is a must? Plus, am I in the right degree? Is this what I've really wanted?

I remember when I was in primary school, always being a high achiever, my parents fed me with the visual of having my future career as a doctor. Naturally as a kid I didn't give a damn and go along with the fantasy. As I grew up further I start to discover what really interest me, (in terms of what we are taught in school that is, as our views as students are pretty limited at that time) that is chemistry. So I abruptly changed my ambition to chemical engineer, because that seems to be the coolest job relating to my interest thus far. But now having to see the world from various different horizons unthinkable to me before, I start to find other possibilities that I might result to.

Being here in a foreign place, meeting different people, make me realize how unnecessarily dull my life has been. I've got some american friends, who ditch uni for the whole year just to go backpacking and see the world, before returning to their studies. I've met people who do anthropology out of pure interest, not mentioning forensics, extravagant fashion design and fashion shows, music concerts, theater performances which fascinate me so much. It makes me wonder how could these people, from my generation, cashless being a poor students, have seen and done so much at the age younger than me? Why couldn't I do the same?

I went to school, go to uni, get a degree and later being enslaved in a career that I myself am not sure whether I'll be contented with. As a result, I spent half of my time here thinking, wondering whether there are other possibilities that I could end up doing for the rest of my life, instead of just being choked by the binding contract and job. It's true chemical engineer used to be my primary ambition, but having seen so much I start to wonder about the possibility to trade my current designated career path with something else that I purely love, like fashion, or culinary. The problem is with the social system that I am to deeply entangled with right now is, these non-professional, technical paths are blamed to not having an promising future to feed the family later on. True they might involve extra hard work, but true as well that I don't want to be trapped doing something that I don't like for the entire life.

I've always wanted to see the world, but I don't have time nor cash to do so. I could be a pilot, and get paid to travel. I could be a journalist, and travel to places and bring back stories. I could be a chef or baker, and indulge in my deep passion on food. I could a fashion designer, and start making clothes to my liking. Those sound really appaling, but unfortunately it's too late to think twice now, but wait is it? Is it really too late for me to recarve my life path?

The choice I have now is not too bad at all, plus with the ever more adventurous oil and field. I could be sent to sudan and live in camps, or dig the deep sea for more gas in the Arab gulf. That doesn't sound too bad at all, does it? But there's only one problem, that is this is my only available choice. No other. I know I should be grateful having my tuition fees paid and all, but what if, and what if had I have more choices to pick from?

I guess life is not all gold mines.

haih...

2009-10-26T17:44:00.001+13:00

lamenyeee tak update blog

nak upload lagi ke taknak nak ke taknak

ok cukup dh quota bulan ni

tunggula next 3 months lagi baru bukak blog huhu

Seniority???

2009-09-01T11:44:00.002+12:00

This was meant to be posted since the first day of Ramadhan, but other obligations which are much superior than this kept coming along the way. Hence on this one rare peaceful day I decided to write it here, now.

During this fasting month, I join a group of about 50 or so girls in forte apartment for iftar. We take turns in groups of five to cook for all of us, coincidently my turn comes only once in the whole month, so I've got nothing to complain as the meal's good and most importantly it's readily served=) Of course we chipped in for that but, this is not my point at all.

So on my first day of iftar with all the other girls, we sit in groups of 5 or 6, and for each group the meal is served in one big dulang. So basically we share our rice, lauk etc if you can imagine. (I think I should upload a picture or 2 sometime later). Ok so basically, I came in, find a group and sit down. The first greet that I received was, "akak ke?"

"tak tak"

"88 ke?"

"aah"

then we ate. It's might just me who exaggerates about this tiny winy thing, but hey its my blog therefore its my liberty to write. Anyway back to the point, I have an extreme disliking of being address as "kak" especially when the gap is only 1 or 2 years away. I mean come on the fact that you were born in 89 and I was born in 88 does not justify the need to distinguish our status with the "kak" suffix at the front. With only a year or 2 difference in age does not have any significant meaning to me. Come to workspace, you call your colleagues by their first names, unless to those who deserve such respect.

Then come to my 2nd point, for me the "kak" symbolizes the level of respect we have upon someone. So for me just being 1 year older does not neccessarily make us eligible for such status. In fact for me the one year gap does not potray any significance at all what so ever in seniority, because the gap is too small. I prefer being treated the same, because that's what we are. Treating each other like people of the same group without any distinguishing names does not make us any less respectful of them. In fact in my opinion it will just make us closer.

But that does not mean I'm totally opposed of the idea. It's just that I think the fact whether you deserve the 'status' or not does not depend on the age factor at all, instead it depends on how much you respect that person. There are some people that I willingly call them by that, simply because I think they deserve the respect, based on their wisdom (posgrad) or larger age gap (macik2) or life experience (married) etc. but definitely not because you being 1 or 2 years older than me.

I totally loathe the fact that you have to be called by that because they are born a few months later. That is why I personally feel those who demand to be called by that, even when the gap is so small, is so pathetic. Like, as if the seniority comes from your birthdate.

I'll be missing you-Puff Daddy

2009-06-20T09:32:00.000+12:00

Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you

What exam has done to me

2009-06-12T10:28:00.003+12:00

I know I know
this blog has been dead for centuries

Student life has never been more demanding. They really suffocated me. No one said that 3rd year is gonna be any easier, and it is so so true. Continuous stream of assignments, strings of endless tests, abandoned tutorial sheets, reading list that keeps piling up, list goes on infinitely. Juggling life between school and and the part time job does not make things a lot easier. But then I'm not complaining, for I think I'm better managed with limited time constrains, priorities are much well defined realizing that deadlines are lying ahead and time is not much to be wasted. It works for me, the busier I get the less I procrastinate. Unless if there were some inevitable times such that the workload escalate exponentially out of control, then the world has to spin backward for a couple of minutes to get everything on track. There were difficult times but then, just live with it I guess. The living proof is here, I'm great, contended, with everything I have, for now.

Now is the time of the year where midnight lamp is burnt. EXAM!!! So don't expect any more updates soon...

Look what exam has done to us girls...not sure about the other side of homosapiens but I think they do have their own form of craving

Mind you that's not a glass of coffee, I am totally against caffeine consumption, plus my body does not tolerate that demonic artificial substance that keeps you awake eventhough your body is screaming in agony out of exhaustion. Sorry for the harsh exaggeration dear coffee lovers!

That cup is in fact filled with a divine, aromatic herbal teabag. I first time fell in love with herbal tea the day my american housemate offered me one of hers. The flavour sticks to my tongue and lingers in my mouth for minutes after consumption. The soothing aroma is undescribable. For now I am still experimenting various type of tea and experiencing their characteristic flavours. Never thought that tea can make a big difference in my drink preferences. So people, I do recommend herbal teas for you, flavour-rich, aromatic and healthy.

But apart from that red glass, the rest are just excessive supply of sugar and fat.

Last published on Dec 13th

2009-02-24T08:26:00.002+13:00

When I though this blog was just about to subside
suddenly my fingers tapping fast on the keyboard recording my flow of minds at 3.27 am, approximately half an hour after I arrived from KL..

What a hectic week...sooooo exhausting...

I was thinking of the decency to blog at least once about my wonderful 2 and a half month of practical experience in Carigali Kertih, but then tak berkesempatan la pulak, let's just say that blogging is not my priority at the moment. Hence the post this early morning

I completed my internship last thursday, went to KL that very same night. Upon arrival continue journey to grandma's house in Sabak bernam on Friday morning, then the next day Saturday to rawang, Sunday to wangsa maju, Monday back Terengganu, the next day Tuesday here I am blogging, later in the day shop for stuffs to bring back auckland, Wednesday kemas2 baggage n bilik, thurday back to KL with family, Friday my flight back to Auckland. How's that for my one week break.

Laterla sambung cerite, itu pun if i feel like it..I'm mentally and physically deprived of sleep, nutritional food and seducing rest.

Looking ahead

2008-12-12T03:16:00.005+13:00

It's almost the end of the year, the dawn of 2008 has almost bade us good bye...but not just yet, before the catastrophic rampage of mother earth. Allah's will outlaws the mankind's pathetic struggle to survive. This shows how vulnerable we are compared to His great power...we are nothing more than dust particles flown into the vast blue sky...

This post was meant to recap my whole year of 2008 but then it might as well turn into some melodramatic random ramblings scraped in this scrutinized digital world. Excuse my inaccurate attempt to flourish my post with bombastic adjectives as this is one of my exhausting effort to repolish the ever rusty skills that I long forgotten. I don't really have discrete points to make here, the flow just comes out as my mind speaks...

Let me just delay the whole 2008 recap thing till the next to non-existent post. While I'm still enthusiastically typing I would like to express here that I become much aware of the future that awaits me after the end of the formal academic years. For 20 years my life has always been about getting all A's to be excellent. Academic life is soooo examination oriented such that more often than not the ultimate goal for a student seems to be solely the straight A+ scores on their report cards. So typical and linear. So obvious and definite. The definition of excellence is so straight forward, which is the big fat A, making it simpler and clearer for us of what to achieve.

However real life is not about grades. Achieving excellence in your carrier is not about getting an A+ in your paycheck. Achieving excellence in life is not about getting A+ in your medical check up or A+ in being happy etc. So what is excellence in reality? How do we grade it? Do we have an absolute benchmark to measure our level of excellence? We all know the answers already..

Having only 2 years left before leaving the formal academic phase of my life makes me think a lot about the up coming future. I become much aware that I am about to enter a new different phase in my life where it's not just about getting good grades. The thoughts make me shiver in my spine, I'm not sure if I'm ready yet to leave the comfort that I am in right now, the comfort of knowing what to do in order to reach excellence.

There are expectations that I am not sure of which one to meet. There are big questions on how do I live my life further on, and with who. There are financial issues to be dealt with too, how much savings should I obtain to prepare myself for the upcoming hurdles that I know not. Financially speaking perhaps the most difficult part would be to start obtaining money on my own hard works.

Then there's a family issue. My life has been taken care of by my family, but sooner or later I will be taking care of my family in turn. My family or/and my own family, that too will be faced soon enough. Next is to assume the role of parenthood. There goes the list of new unfamiliar experiences that are totally new leaves in the phases of life.

All these thinking made me realize how easy my life is as a student. My rent get paid and I am fed without having to worry for the source of income. I just do what I've been told, or do what everyone else is doing to be on the right track. And the right track is also seemed to be very simple, get all A's and you're ok. But real life is not that simple. Am I prepared to face the unexpected? I am not quite sure...

FB

2008-10-14T17:05:00.001+13:00

I hate facebook

It is a fatal addictive monster that munches on your precious assignments related time

but it's soooo tempting huahua

Ni azrap punyer keje

2008-09-14T12:31:00.002+12:00

Starting time : 12.43 pm

Name : Afiqah Thalib
Sisters : 3
Brothers : 3
Shoe size : 8
Height : 162 cm
Where do you live : Auckland NZ

Have you ever..
Been on a plane : yup
Swam in the ocean : yup
Fallen asleep at school : impossible not to
Broken someone's heart : nope
Fell off your chair : yup
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yup
Saved e-mails : nope
What is your room like : must have : laptop, picture frame, hair brush, wall planner, BIGFOOT, THE ICE CREAM STICK, THE ALUMINIUM FOIL. others:wall clustered with pictures and jadual kelas n waktu smayang and cards
What's right beside you : calculator
What is the last thing you ate : Maggi goreng indomee

Ever had..
Chicken pox : nope
Sore throat : yup
Stitches : nope
Broken nose : nope

Do you..
Believe in love at first sight : nope
Like picnics : yup

Who was/were the last person ...
You danced with : chinese dance malam merdeka kire tak???
Made you smile : fareed
You last yelled at : fred bout 2 months ago?

Today, did you
Talk to someone you like : yup
Kissed anyone : nope
Get sick : nope
Talk to an ex : nope
Miss someone : yup

Who do you really hate
liars, those who arent there when u were really hoping, no one in particular tho have no one in mind

Random..
Is there a person who is on your mind now : yup
Do you like your hand-writing : yup
Are your toe nails painted : nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : none
Are you a friendly person : u tell me
Do you have any pets : yup
Do you sleep with the TV on : nope
What are you doing right now : blogging
Can you handle the truth : yup
Are you closer to your mother or father : mak
Do you eat healthy : nope
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: fareed
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : you tell me
Are you confident : yup

5 things i was doing 10 years ago..
Tunggu mak masak lunch ape tp bile panggil suruh buat keje lari msk bilik, men monopoly, tumbuk newspaper dgn lesung batu pastu campo gam kanji buat sniri buat craftworks, nek beskal blk umah, tgk cartoon network

5 things i would do if I were a billionaire..

1. Travel around the world (preference sequence:meyers park Auckland, europe, turki, japan, korea, pulau tioman)
2. bring family along the world trip
3. big big house
4. nak maids
5. lots n lots of clothes

5 of my bad habits..
1. tak suke lipat baju
2. malas kemas dapur
3. malas update blog
4. cepat marah bile lapar
5. suke brg sepah2 sbb kalau kemas nnt tak jumpe -so irony kan

5 places I am living in
bodo gak soklan nih patutnyer 5 places i used to live in kan kan? ntahler bantai sudeyy
1. paka, trg
2. labuan
3. dungun, trg
4. Auckland
5. KL

5 people i tag
fareed, atif, irving, sarah shazwani, nabila yusoff (tu pon kalau drg bace)

End time : 1.14 pm

The winter trip

2008-07-15T17:54:00.010+12:00

To sum it all up I had an awesome and fabulous winter this time round. Right after the Bersatu games I went for a south island road trip in a group of 7. Lots and lots of fun tho quite tiring and pocket draining as well, not a surprise that we came back with our thinning wallets respectively. I was thinking of delaying this post until I get the chance to gather all the pictures from other cameras as well but then I might as well post it now before the story goes outdated. So here goes...

Bersatu ended on the 2nd of July, so we stayed for another day in Wellington before boarding on the flight to Christchurch.

Wellington Railway Station

Spent our first night there, pick up the rent car the next day and started off our journey to the first planned stop, franz joseph which is approximately 6 hours driving from Christchurch.

Historical art building in Christchurch

Unfortunately we were caught in a blizzard in the middle of the way. The road we were on was closed right after we went pass through. As the sun hid behind the white mist of snow, the light faded away leaving us the 7 creatures lurking in the brink of darkness. The road was icy and very slippery, which makes traveling at night very dangerous, so we decided to spend the night at Arthur's Pass, which is approximately halfway between Christchurch and Franz Joseph.

Where we parked our van and spent the night

Unwilling to proceed with our journey, desperately we sought for shelter, land line phones that we could borrow, or vacancies of accommodation in any sort. Believe me we were that desperate that we stopped by at any possible sign of inhabitation that we could find but alas, in a desserted, no phone signal area, snowy and cold valley along the isolated single lane highway, trace of population was very scarce. We had to travel for about 2 hours before reaching a small 'town' consist of a cafe, a bar, a grocery store with 2 petrol pumps and 2 backpackers. Disgrace befallen upon us again as there were no vacancies that night. Therefore we had to opt for the painful choice that was to spend the night in our van. It was very cold, some subzero degrees I think, and was very uncomfortable indeed but then, we still survived the terrible night.

Our dear little van which was our only choice of shelter on that unfortunate night

This is pretty much how the road looks like along the way, endless and endless of snowy mountains on both sides of the road

So starting afresh the next day, first thing first was to fill up our tank. Our plan was diverted straight to Queenstown without spending a night at Franz Joseph and do the glacier walk as planned beforehand. We spend 3 very peaceful nights at Queenstown. We went skiing on the first day (will upload the ski pics later, in someone else's cam) and went to the puzzling world in Wanaka.

The puzzling world at Wanaka, an hour's drive from Queenstown

The next day we departed to Dunedin, which was 6 hours driving. Did nothing much there, just went sight seeing, pictures, meeting up my old school friend Nusrah and went out with our Otago peeps.

The University of Otago, consist of historical buildings

We headed back to Christchurch the next day and spent one last night there before going back home which consequently marked the end of our journey.

It was sure lots and lots of fun, with companions that I can't appreciate enough. I definitely will go for more road trips in the future, I want to travel as much as could, see as much part of the world as I could, as it is indeed my lifelong dream.

Dream

2008-07-15T17:12:00.002+12:00

I have a dream

one day

I want to see the world

Exammmmmm

2008-06-22T00:04:00.001+12:00

cepatla abessssss
saye tak sabar nak pergi bercuti ni
kepale sudah masok air...lalala~

Thropy

2008-05-18T22:18:00.002+12:00

No I did not spell that wrong. It is spelt thropy, the tournament that I went to this weekend.

That was my first ever debate tournament that I have here. Despite the terrible performance, I did enjoy it so much, and learned a lot as well. But the most important thing I would say is regaining my self confidence that was once succumbed to self inferiority. I started having the adrenaline rush and debate hunger as I once devour. For the first time since I stop going to the debates last year I actually am really looking forward to the next thursday casual debate.

two days are already too much, can't imagine if it was longer...

No new posts lately...

2008-03-20T12:09:00.003+13:00

because I have been very busy with lab reports, lab journals and catching up with my studies due to my limited amount of first year knowledge that are still in tact.

because I have not been very well since arriving here, probably due to the sudden climate change. And I am not feeling very well right now too...maybe should just stay in bed today, but then there's a debate club meeting today that I don't wanna miss either, should i or should i not get up?

erm

maybe

not getting up for class
but get up for debate??=)=)

I'm off to lunch, till next time folks!

1st new post in Auckland

2008-03-04T04:53:00.002+13:00

Have been busy these past few days
If you think that the uni is compassionate enough that they'll let u have your own time of leisure to restart and reservice your 3 months long motionless engine, then you are dead wrong.

Only the first day lecture, and we have already gone through quite a lot i tell you. Now I'm beginning to feel the heat already. Welcome to the 2nd year of BE ladies and gentlemen, and let's see if you are made compatible for that or not.

Next, I've signed up for the debate club today and is really looking forward to the club's very first meeting next thursday. I also met Atif for the very first time today regardless of his useless clue of spotting a grey shirt amongst the sea of people in the quad(a common area around cafe in uni) oh btw should I mention here that Atif actually called me at 6.10 a.m. in the morning for what purpose I don't know. But he claimed the interruption of my sweet dreams that early morning as 'unintentional' that he 'accidentally' dialed my number???(in his sleep @.@) ngeh ngeh could be true but could also mean erm....what do you want me to describe it as ya atif? erm stalker? freaky admire? wahahaha no offense bro....just like when I made my remark when I first met you that you look 'chubbier' than in your blog..no offense no offense wakakaka

*betul irving, i think u would agree with me =P

so many things happen in less than a week in aucky good ol' aucky

last but not least,
Ikhwan a.k.a ayu is the only scholar being listed in the dean's list, and saya sungguh tercabar dan semangat saya berkobar-kobar untuk menuruti jejak langkahnya supaya berpeluang disenaraikan di dalam dean's list itu. Maka dengan itu saya berazam pada diri saya sendiri untuk bekerja lebih gigih demi mencapai cita-cita tersebut.

Oleh itu saya mengundur diri terlebih dahulu untuk meneruskan usaha saya mencapai impian tersebut. Sekian terima kasih.

hari ini hari selasa

2008-02-26T13:18:00.000+13:00

yes as you've read above is TUESDAYYYYYYYY!!!

and why is this significant?

because....

I'll be back in Auckland in 2days time, however despite that I haven't started packing on a single thing yet, perhaps a state of rebellion or resistance to have to leave home no?

because....

I can see those aucky peeps again!!!(by that I mean a certain someone=)) yeayyyyy!!!! suke suke sgt and excited sangat sangat!

because....

In 2 days time I'll have to leave my family, sisters and brothers for one whole year again=( Now it comes to the melancholy part, I'm half divided between the excitement and anguish

and I don' wanna start packing!!!!

Aku bersyukur

2008-02-17T21:00:00.000+13:00

kerna telah kutemu

sesuatu yang tak diduga
sesuatu yang ku mahu
tetapi tidak sedar kelibatnya di hadapan

sesuatu yang tak ternilai
sesuatu yang takkan ketemu
walau sertu alam ditarah

How my time is spent

2008-02-16T14:44:00.001+13:00

This is where I go in the evenings almost everyday during school holidays and on weekends during schooldays when I don't have any plannings for that day.

Pantai Teluk Gadung,only 5 minutes drive from my home

Spending time there with my little sister

Haaaa ijah call siape tu....amboi mesranyeeee....jeles jeles=)

Kitorang main kites

Tapi yang ni tak terbang pulak, fell down just in time pulak tu covering some censored images huhu...

Kitorang main tanam tanam...

This one with some decorations

Some random pics of I-dunno-what found on the shore

Last but not least...huhu
ps:this is not me!

ini dari blog atif

2008-02-05T20:56:00.000+13:00

I am bloody bored
and have nothing particular to blog about
which explains the absence of new posts these days
not like i care much tho

but this is something interesting to kill the time with

here it goes=)

1.) What was your dream during childhood?

I have to think deep with this coz the answer turns out to be somewhat a little too personal, but i think the less explicit one would be to travel around the world. I've been to quite a number of places before but to be able to travel to lots and lots of countries in a bulk would be awesome! I really lurrrrrrvvveee to travel around, see new places, being adventurous. have not yet reached this particular dream but will make sure do one day...oneeeeee coming soon someday...with that coming soon someone I hope

2.) Rainy days or sunny days. Why?

sunny...yes definitely sunny! why oh why? why u wanna noe? why u sweety pie wanna noe oh my aiy yay..haha what the crap lollllllll bosan sebenarnye huhu ok ok get back to the question. why sunny eh? sebab kan...sebabbbb u people...sebab sebab if sunny i can go to beaches, a walk in the park, tramping, camping, hiking, waterfall, river, swimming pool, touch rugby, (yes you read it right people, i play touch rugby! but bukan yg tackle tackle tu) basically because i'm an outdoor person so sunny day definitely suits me better.

3.) Which colour do you prefer?

blue!!!biru!!!
forever and ever blue! any shades of blue, particularly the #0000FF blue. Have been my favourite colour ever since i can remember

4.) Who would you marry?

The loved one of course. I mean who would marry other than the love of his/her life?

5.) What present would you prefer best?

A travel package around the world. refer no 1. but for immediate presents for my upcoming birthday reference in July (hehe itu satu hint tau jangan buat tak paham lol) i love teddies...yeayyy suke suke...lots n lots of teddies to cuddle with during cold and wet rainy days that i detest. indeed i acknowledge that teddy being an ordinary present, so to be special just let your imagination runs wild, i do and will cherish whatever gift i receive for i know nothing is more meaningful than being appreciated for what you have given.

6.) What are you most afraid of losing?

the most important person la lol, next...

7.) If you met someone you love, would you confess to him her or keep it a secret?

you know=) next...

8.) The dumbest thing you had done in your life?

I was in standard 5 back then. was presenting in a state level story telling competition when I deliberately paused for a moment pretending I forgot the text whereby in truth that was not the case because I did not want to win that competition. awkward you think? not to boast but the path to national seemed clear for me as it had always been in the previous years, but due to some internal conflicts i refused to go on that day. and did I regret it? hell no

9.) Which type of person you hate the most?

Liars. Spreading promises but are broken. Lies that sting, spears splitting thy heart going deep

10.) What is your ambition?

Complete my degree, be an engineer who does other than office work, and if possible being sent to various parts of the world. basically, a life.

11.) Would you rather be someone else at this moment?

No, because I've found my happiness recently=)

12.) If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

I am pretty conventional you see. I would want a man who can pamper me, lend his shoulders to cry on, propose me in a romantic cum sophisticated way, a big happy happy wedding and a forever lasting family with some kids=) haha sounds like more than one dream je

13.) What do you think that is the most important thing in your life?

you=) next...

14.) What qualities do you want in your other half?

yourself. simply love the way you are made

15.) Who is your favourite cartoon character?

spongebob square pants! no i did not copy from atif

16.) Which is the best time of your life?

early morning 3rd of November 2007.

17.) Who do you wanna meet at least once before you die?

at least once? does that refers to someone that I haven't met for a long time or does someone whom I'm living with also counts? coz if referring to the later i will put my parents first, my husband second, and my immediate family third, yes i'm quite a family person.

18.) What would you do if you could go back in time?

I had always wished I did not come from the secondary school where I came from. not that i regret my 5 years there but was just wondering had things go differently then?

19.) Most memorable day of 2007?

3rd of November 2007.

fuhhhh such a long post. i'm actually a very introvert person, so now i'm feeling extremely uncomfortable of exposing myself to the digital world. feel lucky people you got this one rare opportunity of peeking into my exclusive informations. i could dare saye that there'll be no post as such in the future. there's no way i'm gonna provide more information on myself again, ever! haha larii malu malu

One adorable thing

2008-01-22T14:26:00.000+13:00

Last night there was a phone call. My youngest sister, Ijah got the cordless house phone and handed it to me, however the call turned out to be for her instead. Instantenoeusly she grabbed the phone and shouted excitedly on the phone, "Aini..I love you!!"

Haha so pure and innocent, tho she might not have any idea at all what she was saying, but wasn't that cute. At times, she'll come upstairs to my bedroom, hug me from my back and say it, "I love you!" Such simple, three letter mystic words always do wonders when uttered. And she does the charm every time. There are times, whenever she listens to her currently favourite song, Itu kamu by Estranged, again she'll rush upstairs to where I reside, or wherever I could be, and she'll sing the song for me with some funny hand gestures, perhaps imagining herself as a famous star to be onstage in front of her applauding audience, the one and only me. And there are also times, whenever we listen to my favourite songs from my cd collection in the car, we'll pretend as if we are helding a big concert, grabbing anything worth as a microphone, and start singing together, with appropiate gestures, movements, dances and what not. (In the car mind you) And when there're passers by, we stop abruptly for a split second, cover2 tak bagi org perasan, then start again. She loves to sing, and so do I. We share the same passion, the same songs, the same movements. So now I guess you can tell how we become close together.

So tell me how can I not love this sweet little lily buds so dearly, so close to my heart. So tell me how can I leave all this behind again, when the time comes to leave for Auckland. So tell me world, how can anything, even everything in this whole wide world combined, can ever replace her.

So tell me people, what will happen to me had the same misfortune that befallen upon linie, happen to her as well. I won't survive.

That is why I pray God, everyday everytime, I beg and plead, that she is protected from such menace. Coz if anything ever happen to her, I won't be able to handle it.

I just love her too much.

List of stuffs that I REGULARLY come close to losing them

2008-01-15T17:16:00.000+13:00

1. My wallet

2. My esprit watch

3. My house key

4. My mom's car key

and to top it all, I think my mom's car key is lost for good this time. Can't even think what would happen next...

adoiiiiiii....kan bagus kalau all of those things can be miscalled whenever it is misplaced, which clearly explains why I haven't lose my handphone yet, hopefully I won't.

further ramblings that you might not want to know

2008-01-11T13:01:00.000+13:00

Recently I become aware that I actually enjoy reading ramblings of others about significant events in other people's lives as what they chose to imprint in their respective blogs. Then I realized that I actually envy those who are blessed with the ability to express what they feel inside accurately so that what was playing in their mind is now released, no longer burdening the life it contains. Unfortunately, I for one, am not gifted with such ability to keep on typing and typing coherently in order to reveal my inner self to the world about what I think, or rather what I want them to think what I think. I used to have that talent, to pour everything in mind like flowing water, skill of expression. But now I notice that I've lost that skill to express myself, either by writing or talking, which is quite a shame really, because for not being able to express what you think, or not being able to let that someone know, is really torturing indeed. It's like there are things that you are dying to reveal, but with the depletion of those skills the thoughts will just remain inside of your, dormant, having no effect whatsoever to the social circle around you.

Not only it's hard to express my feelings, the lost of skill which I once retain, has hindered my from the world that I once was so passionate about, that is none other that the debating world. I used to be an eloquent speaker, but after retiring for almost 2 years I am no longer what I used to be...felt so hard to make a come back, which totally demotivates me from any further involvement in the world I once adore so much. However recently when I read blogs of other debaters that I know, who have successfully pursue their debating carrier in tertiary level namely irving, afifah and atif, their never dying passion triggers my enraging desire inside to keep pursuing my dream no matter what. I have a dream of engraving my name as few head-scarfed girl to represent a non-muslim uni and shine in the worlds, but the setbacks I mentioned before caused me to totally forget of it since last year's second sem. I was even invited by some other debating friends to join the scroll throphy whatever the tournament is called during mid 2ns sem, which I turned down as I was totally demotivated, down, feeling totally incompetent and was not confident at all with myself, fearing that the audience might view me as some empty heads babbling things that I have no idea about. But then when I learned that another debate maniac (atif) is coming all the way to auckland, it felt like a bit of shame to let myself intimidated by such petty matters that almost drag me out of debate all together. His passion has driven me to realize that we, debaters, once a debater always a debater....there's no way I would get myself free from this world, because I'm part of it. The further I try to stay away from it, the more torturing it become, as it felt like as if I'm cheating myself into doing something out of my will. I just simply can't get away from it. Now I totally regret abandoning the life I once had.

Thanks Atif, you have no idea what impact your presence in Auckland has on me (though we barely know each other, your many debate related writing injects instant debate adrenaline rush for me) Not forgetting Irving and Afifah too, I've been keeping up to date with your writings recently, most especially debate related ones. It just give me sort of like...I don't know...glimmers of hope? hehe sorry la being quite emotional pulak, but I always am when it comes to debate...the long lost dream...Hopefully resurrection that I'm planning for this coming sem will stand firm...for the gleaming dreams...stars high up unreached...
Wish me luck people...in pursuing the career that I abandoned momentarily

null

2007-12-29T15:47:00.000+13:00

If there is one thing that I regret throughout my first year studies in uni, it definitely is the fact that I let myself feeling intimidated by the local debaters in the debate society of university of auckland, tho I know it is not their intention at all...it's all about the self inferiority, personal conflicts that I have been battling with a lot quite lately. Deep down I knew I could had only I have more motivation...hope it's still not too late to start all over again

Iris

2007-12-24T15:40:00.000+13:00

Artis : Awie
Lagu : Iris

Kau masih ku cintai ..sungguh
Dari awal dulu hingga hari ini
Aku pasti seyakinnya pasti
Kau lah satu untuk ku
Kau masih Dewi hatiku..sungguh
Biar sejuta tahun hilang di hari
Usah gusar sayang usah ragu
Aku milikmu

Chorus *

Cintaku jika kau tanya pada bintang
Gemilauan sinar tak kan hilang
Akan aku sinari duniamu
Moga terpadam sangsi mu oh..
Cintaku jika kau lihat tingginya awan
Tak kan tercakar tinggi cintaku
Hanya hati ku tahu apa mahuku
Kan dunia ku pastinya milikmu
Hingga ke akhir hayatku

Ulang *

Kau masih ku cintai..sungguh
Dari hari pertama kau ku nikahi
Aku pasti seyakinya pasti
Engkau milik ku..

alalaa citer Iris dah nak abes...
sobsob...
you'll know why =)

The legacy

2007-12-12T20:39:00.000+13:00

Ntahla tetibe rase macam nak tulis pasal debaters batch aku ni, Zack, Ziadi, Hafiz Hood and me. I honestly miss them sooo much, miss the time, the stay ups, the debate room, the kotak debate, the arguments and rebutals, the discussions, the mock debates that we had shared before. So many things we have endured in the 3 years journey of hunting the title, which in the end favors the BM team eventually. How I wish it was like before, would be such a terrible waste to just let go...

if only it is easier

2007-11-29T14:59:00.000+13:00

when we are facing uncertainties
doubtful
unsure
ambiguity

what should we do?

can we wait
but for how long?

should we just say it
when we are not sure of the end?

I don't know what to do
with this thing called life.

Home sweet home

2007-11-09T14:30:00.000+13:00

I'm going home tomorrow, 10th of November 2007 after almost one year being separated from family, friends and hometown. Finally I'm returning home for a four months summer holiday. Already have few things planned in mind, and also feeling very excited about this journey home. The so long awaited home coming is drawing closer and closer that I can almost smell it. Can hardly wait. Just another day...just one more day before KLIA touchdown.

Today, I sent off those who are departing today. A rush of grief flooded my veins which hinder me from uttering the last words I've planned to say, as a last goodbye wish. It's like, being away for 4 months....will definitely miss a lot...

Mixed, unexplainable emotions arise towards the end of this first year in Auckland journey. Being over joyed for returning home eventually at the same time feeling sad for not being able to see those whom I want to see for the following months. A lot has been gone through even in such a nick of time. Even saying goodbye now is already hard, what more to say farewell in the final year when we know that we won't see each other again much until fate decides. Must be bloody tough I reckon', but hey, that's life mate!

ELECTENG 101

2007-10-25T17:35:00.000+13:00

Today I completed a 3 hour Electrical and Digital Systems paper in precisely 2 hours. Of course it was not difficult at all to answer one forth of the question paper in more than half of the allocated time...

down~~

The dare

2007-10-22T17:13:00.000+13:00

"Kalau aku pakai ko pon kene pakai jugak"

And so we went to uni the next day in the most formal attire that I supposed won't be worn again till we are employed. The reason that I'm jotting this down is so that I will be able to commemorate one of few silly things I did in my student years.

Gambar raye

2007-10-21T22:51:00.000+13:00

As mentioned before, here comes the pics!!! Malas nak narrate panjang2 just let em do the talking!

bergambar dgn housemate

cute nye baju same kaler

fokus pada bunga

tahan sejuk mlm2 ni nak tunjuk baju raye

my classmates

Jamuan raye @ Marae

layannn...

Jena dah tinggi!!!

Siap ade bunge2 lagi

Eid Mubarak

2007-10-13T20:50:00.000+13:00

There's nothing much to be recorded here, I think it's adequate to mention that the celebration here doesn't quite meet my expectation, in fact is more towards disappointed actually. Apart from the jamuan managed by Beca right after sembahyang raya, the rest of the day was nothing much to be pointed out. After that went straight back home, sleep, and wake up to find my housemates either not home yet or was in their rooms online raya-ing. And later at night went out to look for members to play uno with while listening to raya songs. How much pathetic could it be. So basically my raya this year is just the Eid prayer and the feast at the engineering cafe at uni. That's all. Which is why I don't really bother to upload any raya pics right now. Perhaps when I feel better I shall.

Myers Park

2007-10-09T22:29:00.000+13:00

Sometimes, you just need someone to simply be there to know that you are not alone, and the relieve it offers outcasts the clouding sorrow and lonesome. I honestly owe him much.

And to think that it's actually Moses' rather than Michael Angelo's statue...

Roti jala!!!!

2007-09-29T23:43:00.000+12:00

For those who are still doubting my self proclaim, here's the ultimate truth that denies your doubts. Have a look at my freshly home made roti jala, as usual very proud of myself, and as usual again proving the already prevailing skill I have, no need to mention further.

Now tart telur pula

2007-09-27T15:53:00.000+12:00

Today it's egg tart day!!! yeahhh so nice sweet triumph! I am super duper overly proud of my achievement this time, considering even my mom myself doesn't know how to make one! Beware o mother, I shall surpass your cooking skill in no time! hahaha

Well, as I said before, I am indeed naturally born with talents...

Nurin Shazlin

2007-09-25T05:46:00.000+12:00

How I whole heartedly loath the barbaric heinous crime this innocent little girl and her family has to suffer (Al-fatihah). Reading about her reminds me very much of my little sister, whom I love so dearly embraced in my heart. The grotesque world we are living in, descended to uncontrollable span of evilness, the thought of which makes me shudder of the security that is no longer guaranteed. I can't help but worrying of my little sister, and my two brothers, who are still unaware of such a cruel world out there. Allah knows how I long to be by their side, how dearly missed, how dearly concerned. God I miss them! I want to be able to look after them. I want to be able to see them grow before my own eyes. I want to bring them home safely from school each day. I want to prepare meals that they will savour.

There are so many things that I have to sacrifice in the pursuit of my own. Is it selfishness I don't know, but at times, there are times that I wonder if things could be more different had I not chosen this path. But again, it does no good to grieve over the road not taken, instead it's to move forward that matters, so I believe.

Ain't she's adorable
The three musketeers
Band of brothers

My successful kuih gulung attempt

2007-09-23T17:47:00.000+12:00

presenting *drumroll.....tadaaa....my very own made kuih gulung! How I'm so proud of myself now, being capable of making various local delicacies, of which I owe to Malaysian food cravings especially intensified during buka puase. Did some onde-onde, popia goreng and popia basah recently, of course receive lots of en core requests! Shall upload those pics later, lupe nak ambik gamba before. Haih...never have realized my mundane cooking talent that begins to resurface. Indeed I am of natural born cook! I knew it! hhahaha..

Men are happier creatures???

2007-09-15T21:22:00.000+12:00

Got this from a friend of mine. Men are just happier people; what do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes. One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look!

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

You don't freakout when you go to a party and see another man wearing the same shirt, instead you become buddies.

Haha quite funny I would say, though of course being a women would deduce this as heavily biased on the other sex, I cannot say that they are all wrong, especially the part that they only have their face and neck to shave..huhu

Embracing life

2007-09-09T18:08:00.000+12:00

My friend once said, "Sometimes what we want is not what we get, so close yet too far..."

Deep and poignant. Precisely describing what I'm trying to grasp that is not mine. I'm not sure when will I stop bequeathing dream that is longed, that is outreached, so long the darling buds are shaken, so long the sun hath all it shines, forsooth I am, yet still am.

abes la kau acap

2007-08-31T21:43:00.000+12:00

due to mounting requests for a much easy to understand entry as well as in conjunction with Malaysia's 50 years of independence today, entri kali ini ditulis sepenuhnya dalam bahasa ibunda...kalau tak paham2 jugak mampos korangla..

baiklah, sebagaimana anda semua maklum kali ini saya akan bercerita tentang trip ke gunung ruapehu (maaflah tidak tahu bagaimana hendak menterjemah ruapehu ke dalam bahasa melayu) ketika cuti pertengahan semester kedua tempoh hari. maka arrrrrrrrrrrgghhh tensi tensi nak buat esei A1 BM nih..dah dah dah malasla nak tulis lagi, ni odie nyer pasal la ni gedik nak bace blog aku, mampos kau la odie

ok ok trip tu kejap je 2 hari saje sebab masing2 sengkek poket dah rabek..so 1st day men ski 2nd day ondaway blk singgah tmpat2 merapu. bley pulak tetibe nak men luge kan ni sapek la ni mulut besa bajet pro, speed luge takde org bley menang dgn dier la blablabla dan macam2 lagi, tapi last2 sakit bontot jugak dah abes men tu...haha mmg padan dgn mukenyer...oopss takley ckp lebey2 kang nganges lak mamat tu kang. namun utk pengetahuan semue sepanjang trip tersebut aku sungguh merana jiwa dan batin. tiap2 mlm aku mengadu kat tele-dera tapi macam ni jugak nasib malang aku, asyik kene dere je lebey2 lagi odie ngan sapek tu ha, ade je modal drg. ateen pon same je dgn drg takde semangat perkauman lansung! acap tu lagila, nampak je cam bek senyap2 je kan, krg taktau keje dier kat trip tu, rabe2 kaki org la amboi sempat lagi tgh drive tu suke betul.... naema je yg membela aku...huuu terharunye

yg bes nyer nak citer time ski tu (haa acap dah berdebar2) dah la besar, tak sejuk sgt, tak ramai org, murah then kat queenstown, mmg mantap ah berbaloi RM216 aku men ski. bergolek2 jugakla aku due tige kali, ateen makan ais ruapehu ape igt tu abc ke ape kempunan sgt kot, odie ngan dino jatuh ayu je takde bunyik pon, naema lak....erm tanak la komen sbb dier baek slalu backing aku...acap lak...acap...acap huhu tgk la vid nih>>
si sapek yg bermegah2 dgn outstanding progress nyer pon bedebuk jugak bagaikan nangka busuk jatuh ke tanah...buktinye saksikanlah sedutan ini>>

ok ok pastu mlm tu blk backpackers aduh penatnyer sengal2 badan osteoporosis terutama skali naema yg terus pengsan sampai mlm...ooppss tak sengaje ok sebagai tanda persahabatanku dgn mu aku tak attack ko naema ok. kesian kami dlm trip ni merana malnutrition makan makanan rapu rotila biskutla jajanla sahaja sebagai dinner pada mlm itu. kemudian adelah ibu kami mengajak bapa kami pergi keluar cari roti sebagai sesuap makanan menyara kehidupan kami anak2 di bawah tanggungan mereka. udahla ujan, gelap, kabus, takde lampu jalan namun acap..eh bapa kami menggagahi mlm yg kelam demi menunaikan hasrat murni mak teen. oh sungguh kami terharu!

so esoknyer bermula lah perjalanan pulang kami yg penuh rintangan dan dugaan. demi memberkati perjalanan pada hari itu sebelum memulakannya kami bermain2 uno dgn penuh hasad dengki di launge sementara menunggu perempuan due org odie dan dino mereka itu, ntah buat ape ntah dlm blk due2 org tu tak nampak pulak hasilnye, tapi aku rase dino masih dara, melihatkan muka odie yg frust. (syyhhh ni rahsie peribadi drg jgn kecoh2 tau) kemudian di pertengahan jln ktrg brentila kat satu tasik ni taktau ape name, tapi nak dijadikan cerita aku yg malang pada hari itu, tasik bedebah ni penuh lumut la pulak, makan dgn izin Allah s.w.t aku meluncur laju macam maen ice skating atas bontot. adoiii sakit sungguh badan dan hati! ni la balasan gelakkan sapek agaknye, skrg kami menghadapi kecederaan yg same. dahla basah, busuk, takde baju spare, kenela pinjam odie punye sluar. walaupun rase jijik skali tapi sbb dah desperate kan pakai je la, besa la plak pinggang si odie tu asyik nak londeh je seluarnye aku pakai. tapi seluarnye tak pulang lagi, takpela nanti aku renjis2 je la air sket2 crumple kan sket kasik nampak cam baru lepas kutip dari laundry taruk body spray sket bkn dier tau pon.

ok lepas peristiwa bersejarah tu ktrg pegi lake taupo, sungguh besar dan berombak sehingga menimbulkan kekonfiusan ni lake ke laut. tapi kali ni aku dah tak brani mendekati pinggir tasik tersebut takut tragedi merdeka berulang kembali. lepas tu ke rotorua pule tibe2 teringin nak maen luge. okla ikut je la kan bes jugak ape. tapi kemudian berulanglah kembali nasib malangku pada hari itu. Rase macam cinderella la plak cantik, baik, rajin tapi bernasib malang, tapi takpe nanti live happily ever after. sedang sibuk aku membelasah sapek ketika menaiki kabel chair maka tshirt yg ku pegang di tangan(yg aku salin baju sblm tu) terbang melayang2 ke syurga. sbb tak sampai nak amek kan tinggi sgt maka aku reda kan sahaja byk pahale aku bersabar pada hari itu. maka tertinggalah satu sourvineer aku kat hutan rotorua. lepas abes men luge ktrg terus memandu pulang lah dah penat2 enjoy gelak2 sume.

kesimpulannye aku mmg enjoy habis trip ni in fact aku rase lebey enjoy compared to pegi rotorua or queenstown, maybe sebab the number of ppl were just nice tak byk sgt tak sket sgt n also because of the lovely companions we had that cheer up the whole trip. mmgla geram giler rase nak penggal je mulut si odie tu kan ade je bahan dier kan, but then itu la yg jadi spices n colors trip ktrng ni, i don't know bout others but that's what i felt. and the pillow talk thing, that was the most embarassing, at the same time truthful moment i've ever had in my whole 19 living years, and i've never expected it to be encountered with some magnificent companies that i've just met in such a brief period of time. I couldn't appreciate more of what they have offered me, of which I shall treasure so long the breath and life embraced. a big fat thank you.arigatou.merci boucoup.syukran jazilan.

now let the pic do the rest of the talking!

eiyyy acap ni suke nyer tunjuk boxer dier

me and dino

me and naema

me and ateen

adoi mate sharingan sorang2

UMSA Ball 2007

2007-08-27T20:32:00.000+12:00

Disclaimer : this post is to describe the previous UMSA ball that I went to last Sunday, as well as half-heartedly to fulfill the wish of blog-updates-craving-odie-gerodie-godiro-rigodie

Apart from the pork that I almost savor, the food was awesome considering myself as a big fan of seafood that is, tho the skit was a bit too dragging not mentioning the lil bit mundane atmosphere without any accompanying life band during the dinner of which usually exist to enlighten the unless grey mood. Only being informed about the pork among the otherwise halal meat, I miss by a split second the very rare lifetime chance of accidentally consuming that pinky meat unlike some of those lucky enough...huhu~ Anyway the most important thing to note down is that the night marked my first ever ever ever attempt to reveal the much ladylike side dormant inside, thanks to deelila the mak andam, my baby skin face was smeared with colors and decors that I myself did not really fathom the function of them being brushed on my already prevailing natural beauty..(blekkk....as if!!! some of those envious people would say)Hey, what can I do if I'm naturally gifted, here I refute back..(oh yeah, she's right!)Henceforth they succumbed to the ultimate undeniable grant I possess...hahah ape merepek nih...anyway anyway cut the crap..let's get the pictures do the rest of the talk!

Malas la nak komen each picture...tgk je la ok...admire the enhancement of my already outstanding beauty...ayu seyh bukan slalu dapat tgk aku pakai make up nor kain nor handbag... This is just some of the pics, perhaps later I shall upload more pictures yet to be grabbed from deelaila.

I'm moving

2007-08-23T14:13:00.001+12:00

Inspired by irving i'm gonna move my blog to blogspot sometime later to enable much artistic decorations in contrast to this mundane friendster blog that limits creativity to the extent of manipulating the background color only. so too bad la to those yg link to this blog, after a while u gonna have to rectify it to have it redirect to the right one, or perhaps taknak link pon is quiet advisable as i create and delete my blogs regularly...yupp u read it rite i just obliterate it when i'm bored with it...but i think gonna start writing again, hail my once flourished passion to writing...no idea where it was buried, I used to be so passionate about writing, never mind the lengthy essays, it felt so good having my outpouring words positioned themselves exactly as i want them to be, to have such freedom was so rewarding, unfortunately didn't really notice when it ended...but will have its rebirth once again...

yes i'm gonna start a hopefully 'regularly updated blog', somewhere in blogspot, i'm MOVING people!!!

Dammit

2007-08-23T14:12:00.001+12:00

Damn damn damn damn,,,adoiiiiiiii
how could I missed the fact that I'll be facing 3 tests in the same week sometime who-knows-what in August!!! And I haven't commenced a thing,,,nope,,,nothing,,,null,,,zero,,,ultimate nil,,,arghhhhh,,,and started freaking out, I mean who wouldn't if you have electeng and matlab both facing reckless ignorance due to the unfathomable lectures ever since the first day that robbed of the sanity for any further attempt to understanding that could be hazardously fatal,,,unless yes of course if I don't care being kicked way back Malaysia because the generous Petronas (hell!) my pocket money provider and house fees source thinks that you are not competent enough hence deserve compensation entitled to ungrateful students who neglect the generous luck of being sponsored here, they said, DAMN!!! As if my brittle mind hasn't had enough, there await g,e, assignment and matlab project due of which I haven't started a single thing whereas the rest of my colleagues have been approaching each other with enquiries regarding solutions to their halfway through works, which is kinda annoying compared to your empty clean untouched piece of assignment guidlines,,,DAMN yet again,,,dammittttt,,,and why does my innocent, being lifeless and motionless blog has to endure my outpouring emotional eruption??? who cares,,,

btw Odie, do notice that I don't use a single full stop for this entry,,,haha~~~

Whadda...

2007-08-23T14:00:00.001+12:00

hurmph...
this is like the fourth attempt of me trying to initiate a blog of no guarantee of its sustainability and most unlikely to survive like the previous three blogs that I have mercilessly obliterated from existence due to the absence of updating urge stretching infinitely. haiyo....no idea how long would this one will last tho, might not survive long I bet...
anyway I don't know what drives me the urge to pen down random thoughts in this vast digital space in this online journal...don't know how don't know why just feeling like jotting down some stuffs...things...dunno dunno...randomly blabbing the thoughts like uncontrollable running tap water...haiyo what am I crapping dunno dunno...
ANYWAY...haiyo second anyways...then it flicks me, this driving force might come from the fact that my linguistic skill has been noticeably dramatically deteriorating terribly, and having to realized this only after the troublesome attempt to come up with a one page length of 10pt classics110G essay shakes my guts, it makes me wonder...had my level of proficiency dropped this low??? Terrified, flabbergasted, awestruck for words, now I realized the fact being in an english speaking country alone does not help to erect eloquent speakers, in fact it all come down to the basic principle that is always taken for granted as language proficiency has never come second to me, that is practice and practice, which is exactly why I feel the need to start blogging as a practice field to fully utilized english in a much proper and proficient manner in constructing essays...duhhh
and I think that's pathetic
haiyo...
stop crapping lol